Spoiling Young Children - Here’s How To Avoid It
October 1, 2008
Are you worried about spoiling your young children? It’s easy to do with all the toys and activities available to kids these days. Here are some tips on how to avoid spoiling children.
When we were children, most of us grew up without the kind of extravagant things that seem normal for children to have today. More importantly, we were happy just the same. Just take a look at the young celebrities of today, most are role models to swarms of teenagers, and it becomes very clear that these kids had little to no constructive home life; instead they were spoiled young children and handed everything they could ever want. Is it even possible to raise happy children today without handing them over everything they thing they need? The answer is an unequivocal yes.
Take a look inside any school and you will find kids toting expensive cell phones; the coolest ipod; the latest footwear and clothing; as well as the newest and most popular electronics you can find. What does this say about how we raise our children? What are they missing in exchange for these expensive material items?
Our children’s role models are relegated to celebrities whose lives are often filled with drugs, all night parties, arrests, and visits to rehabilitation centers. If you look into the background of any of these people, you’ll find something common about how they were raised. Even if they say they are happy, it is very obvious that it isn’t the case.
What parent isn’t concerned about raising happy children? Also, giving them everything in the world isn’t a consideration. By spoiling children we are actually robbing them of something we thought we could just pay for and hand over with the latest and greatest gadget. By giving a child everything they desire is to deprive them of experiencing the ups and down of life; and prevents them from working hard to find their niche in life.
There is an old saying, “if you don’t expect it, you’ll never be disappointed.” If children get everything they ever wanted, how can they learn that in life you don’t always get everything you want or try? They will never appreciate the simple things and achievements, but be on a constant search for things that are unattainable.
The bottom line is that it starts at home with the values, morals, support and encouragement that the parents offer to the child. When parents show a child unconditional love and not unconditional stuff then the child will start to see that they can have everything they want and will realize the things that are of the most value can’t be bought.
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Sneaky Fun; Play With Your Kids and Still Get the Job Done
October 1, 2008
by Colleen Langenfeld
“Mom, I’m bored!”
“Dad, play with me!!”
Sound familiar?
one that need to be done (including the toughest job of all, parenting). These SneIf you’re a parent, these plaintive cries from your children can become daily shouts. As busy moms and dads, we’re continuously torn by the demands on our time. Here are some simple ways to spend time with your kids while getting the jobs daky Fun ideas are also great ways to teach our children exactly how to successfully accomplish many routine tasks.
- Make a silly dinner together.
Think ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ or try a picnic on the living room floor. Bring your child along for the meal planning, shopping, prep time and clean-up. Involve them each step of the way.
- Turn on the music and clean, clean, clean.
Forget TELLING your kids to go clean; side-by-side, with some of their favorite music playing, move through the house dancing and cleaning. They’ll love it (and so will you).
- Exercise together.
You know you need to do it. Your child is your perfect exercise partner. Make it a ‘talk and play’ time and you’ll both get fit together.
- Share a hobby.
Love to fish, garden, sew, paint, sing? Share that love with your youngster. Try an interest that fascinates them. Learn a shared passion - together.
- Start a girls or boys night out.
You will make an incredible impression with this one. Take your daughter out for regular manicures and lunch. Stay close to your son with a favorite concert or sporting event. Teach your children about wholesome entertainment and the joy of healthy relationships. You can even team up with another parent and child for regular fun; just make sure that honest conversation is the true priority.
- Improve their skills.
Do you have a student struggling with homework? Quit nagging and ask them to teach YOU what they’ve learned. Be a patient listener. The fastest way to learn is often to teach.
- Wash the cars.
Need I say more? Water, the chance to soak mom or dad, and a sense of accomplishment when it’s all done. Follow up with an ice cream cone for a job well done.
- Growing things.
Countless gardeners have discovered deep satisfaction in sharing their love of growing things with children and grandchildren. Gardening is a useful de-stressing tool and the most frustrated child tends to loosen up and share their heart while getting their hands dirty alongside a trusted adult.
- Plan, plan, plan.
If your household is anything like mine, it benefits greatly when I take the time to map out regular activities. Menu-planning, budgeting and vacationing come to mind, for starters. Show your child (of the appropriate age) how to use their time and money wisely by including them in the planning of everyday family activities. As they mature, they can easily be put in charge of some of these planning sessions, teaching them to younger siblings. Your trust and belief in your kids can ease the stress on them as they grow, too.
- Organize.
Almost all families struggle with organization in some area. Truth be told, we’re simply busy people and have often outgrown the simplistic organizing methods that once worked just fine. Give your kids the opportunity to be the creative organizer in your family. Whether its making sense of the family photos or tackling the hall closet, do it with them to get the job done and make a memory that’s shared.
- Schedule the fun.
Sometimes the best defense is a good offense. Try scheduling a set time of fun in exchange for a set time of work. For example, Monday can be family board game night while Saturday morning sees the family hard at work in the yard. Sometimes it’s easier for kids to see the point when it’s a straight trade off of time and energy.
The idea here is simple and clear. Use everyday activities to build relationships and teach responsibility. After all, everybody wins when ‘fun’ becomes a part of daily life!
About the Author: Colleen Langenfeld energizes busy working mothers with career, organizing, meal-planning, parenting ideas and more using the free Working Mothers Great Idea Kit at paintedgold.com/moms.
Sharing Books with Children
October 1, 2008
By Sherry Frewerd
One of my first memories of childhood is that of my mother reading Dr. Seuss books to me in a big brown recliner in our living room. That memory brings with it sounds and smells and a general feeling of safety and comfort that never fades, even after all these years. Naturally, one of the first memories I have of my own first born child is sitting in a big chair and reading Little Golden Books to him.
Sharing books and reading with my children is as natural as giving them baths and making their breakfast. It’s just something I do everyday, and it’s one of the most pleasurable moments of my day. I love to hold my two year old in my lap while we snuggle up and look through his ever growing library of books. His favorite books change weekly as his interests broaden. Books open up the world to him and his imagination is bubbling over with new ideas every day.
More than just telling a story, books help children better understand their own ideas and feelings and often calm an upset toddler when nothing else will work. They see and hear about other kids like them and others from around the world who are different. We’ve all seen little kids acting out the stories they hear. As a child I spent many afternoons pretending to be the characters from my favorite books. Just recently my son was playing ‘Dr.Dan. The Bandage Man’, a current favorite Little Golden Book.
Although reading with children is so very rewarding for both adult and child, little kids need time to look at books alone. This allows them the opportunity to look at the pictures and develop the habit of ‘reading’ even though they can’t yet read. In my Family Child Care, I have different ‘libraries’ available in different rooms in my home. The kids have labeled these areas ‘libraries’ themselves, and will often rotate the books from room to room and act out ‘going to the library’ daily. Imagine my surprise when I first witnessed a three year old taking the younger kids ‘to the library.’
Because books are a very user-friendly activity and require no prep or cleanup other than returning them to the ‘library’, parents can and should use any opportunity to share books with their young children. Long car or plane trips, waiting rooms, in shopping carts, you name it, you can hand a child a book and make just about any transition or otherwise boring activity exciting. Books and reading can be both a group or individual activity, and many children who are normally shy in a group setting will sit in the reading circle and share story-time while making new friends.
By sharing books with your young child, you are planting a precious memory that will last a lifetime for both parent and child. They in turn will continue the tradition with their own children and remember those special times. A world of experiences and ideas are waiting for you to introduce to them.
About the Author: Sherry Frewerd is a Proud Work At Home Mother of 3 musical children. A Family Child Care Provider for 10 years, she also publishes several websites, specifically familyplayandlearn.com Family Play and Learn: Play and Learning Resources for Parents and Family Child Care Providers.
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