Understanding Toddler Temper Tantrums

October 2, 2008

Temper tantrums are a common occurrence in toddlers. Gain a better understanding of toddler temper tantrums.

Although toddler tantrums can be both embarrassing and traumatic, it may help you to understand that this is just another normal phase of your toddler’s development. Most tantrums are due to the fact that your toddler just doesn’t have the necessary vocabulary to express his newfound feelings.

He’s gone from being a bystander in life and just letting the world pass him by to fully diving in and wanting to explore and grab every little thing life has to offer. Along with this newfound thirst for life also come many emotions and the feeling of not being able to express these emotions.

That’s why when your toddler feels tired, hungry, or just bored and cranky he will result to having a tantrum as a way to change a situation he doesn’t like or has any control over. By the same token, your toddler may also have a tantrum when she doesn’t get her way.

When your toddler does have a tantrum, you certainly shouldn’t give in as tempting as it may be, if you’ve said no to something you should stick to no. If you give in now, you’re child will think next time he throws a tantrum he’ll get his own way too. This will create a cycle of repeat tantrums.

You should, however, be close at hand and ready to give your toddler a big hug once he has calmed down. Reassure him that you still love him and let him know how pleased you are that he has regained control. This will emphasize the fact that he has been able to control his emotions and will give him the confidence to know he is able to control himself at certain times.

And above all try not to get too frustrated or upset by your toddlers tantrum. The worst thing you can do is loose control yourself; this will only make the situation worst.

As your toddler goes through this normal phase of development, keep the future in sight, you’re teaching your toddler how to control and deal with his emotions and the tantrums will soon pass.

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Aargh those Pesky Sleep Problems!

October 1, 2008

By Kemi Quinn

It’s 2am and your baby is up for the third time since 7pm. She’s 2 months old and from all the books and magazines you’ve read SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE SLEEPING THOUGHT THE NIGHT!!!!! How long can this go on?!!! As difficult as this is it doesn’t last forever.

The first few weeks of a baby’s life are key in setting a healthy sleep pattern that can last a lifetime.

At first your infant doesn’t know much about the differences between day and night. From what she is used to when the home turns quiet is the time to wake up and when there is movement and activity around her is the time to sleep. Slowly she will adjust during her first few weeks and as she does it’s important to set up nice bedtime and wake up time routines so she will understand her roll in it all. Here are some things to keep in mind…

1. Does your baby have a bedtime routine? Setting up a bedtime routine is key. Bath, book, etc. This can be added on to as the child grows.

2. Is your baby going to bed at an age appropriate time? This is part of the routine. Yeah we know they’re just going to wake up for a bottle in 30 minutes but putting them in the place for sleep early on sends the message that “this is bedtime”.

3. When your baby wakes up each time during the night do you respond immediately with a bottle and cuddling or do you first try the pat and assure method to see if it’s just normal night time waking?

4. Does you child take enough naps during the day

5. Sometimes a little “white noise” can help. I myself sleep with a fan and use hymn CD for my babies.

6. Make sure you keep baby’s crib and bassinet free from toys. This is the place for sleep not play.

7. I’m sure you’ve heard to try and keep the night feedings boring. Change, feed, bed. No talky no playie. I’ve actually done this

with great success.

8. Upon waking make sure you greet your baby with a smile and a good morning. They love that!

Whatever you try remember that there is light at the end of the tunnel and you are not alone.

(This article is for informational purposes only and not meant to diagnose any problems or ongoing issues. Please see your physician for any medical concerns.)

Visit this author’s website at mommybabytools.info

Article Source: EzineArticles.com

Additional Resources:

Natural Sleep Remedies
A great resource site for natural sleep remedies for everyone in the family.

How to Potty Train Your Child in Five Hours
Discover the steps and secrets to having your own child potty trained in five hours or less.

Potty Secrets
Potty training is now effortless and an enjoyable experience as you watch your baby gain a sense of independence and throw away his costly (and messy) diapers – forever!

Supernanny Secrets
Super Parenting Strategies, based on the Supernanny.

Sibling Rivalry: The Magic Trick That Stops It Instantly

October 1, 2008

by Stephanie Gallagher

It’s a familiar scene: Kids screaming at each other, complaining that, “He got a bigger piece of pie,” or “She got to stay up an hour later last night.”

When sibling rivalry rears its ugly head, what do you do?

Try to reason with the kids? Scream, threaten or punish them? Ignore it and run for cover?

None of these methods is very effective for very long.

But I’ve discovered a tactic that works every time. It really is guaranteed to end sibling battles, almost instantaneously. The only downside is it requires a bit of patience on your part.

The trick is understanding that it doesn’t matter what the kids are arguing about, the real battle is for your attention.

Really. They could be screaming at the top of their lungs over who gets to play with a certain toy. They could be red-faced and foaming at the mouth over who got to sit in the favorite chair. It doesn’t matter what they’re arguing about. What they’re really saying is, “Mom, I want more of your attention. I want to know you love me.”

Understand this, and you’re 80 percent of the way to resolving all sibling battles.

So here’s how to resolve the battles: Try to catch them before the argument escalates to the point where one or both kids need to be reprimanded.

If you can’t do that, wait for the next time. There always is a next time, isn’t there?

Next, make it clear that you aren’t taking sides.

Now try to discern which child is feeling the need for attention most. It will typically be the child who started it, though that’s not always easy to figure out.

Turn to that child first and say, “Look, I can see you’re upset. I’m wondering if maybe you need some more attention from me. Can I give you a hug?” (Or rub your back or throw the football around or whatever you do when you give your kids attention.)

When that child is calm, repeat with the other child(ren).

Your goal is to let your kids know that:

1) You understand they need your attention; and

2) You accept them; and

3) You aren’t going to judge them for needing or wanting your love.

Depending on how old the kids are and how long the rivalry has lasted, you may hear a little sarcasm. But I promise you, there’s a soft vulnerability underneath those barbs. If you can ignore the sarcasm and keep offering more attention, you’ll be amazed how quickly the arguments disappear.

Giving them attention doesn’t mean you have to be at their beck and call for the rest of the day. It may mean you give them hugs and kisses. It may mean sitting and talking with them. Or it may just mean sitting quietly and playing a game of their choice for a few minutes.

When They Both Want Your Attention at Once

It helps if you warn them that you’ll have to take turns giving each child individual attention. I handle this in a really straightforward way.

I just say something like, “Listen, I can see you both want my attention now. And honestly, you both deserve it. (That’s the best line I’ve come up with yet!)

I really want to give both of you the attention you deserve, but I’m only human. So how about if I sit over here and talk with you first, then I’ll play a game with you…and so on.”

This also works really well when there’s a new baby in the house. Obviously, if you’re in the middle of feeding, changing or bathing the baby, you can’t give the older one(s) the attention they want.

So just say as sympathetically as possible, “You know what? I bet you want a hug right now, don’t you?” Or, “Could you use some mommy time?” Or, “Does it seem to you like the baby is getting all my attention?”

Then say, “You deserve my attention, too. And I want to give it to you. Right now, I can’t because I have to feed the baby. But as soon as I’m finished I’m going to…[give you a great big hug, play Candy Land with you, etc.]

Is This Really Guaranteed to Work?

Yes, but, of course, you have to put it into practice.

I am the first to admit that when I’m tired, hungry, cranky or PMSish (or worse, postpartumish!), I just can’t bother with this trick. I mean, geez, even Barney would get PMS if he were a woman (and not a make-believe character)! So don’t expect the battles to stop instantaneously and never arise again.

Plus, when the kids are tired and cranky, it doesn’t matter how much attention you give them, they’re not going to respond to anything but food and sleep. Understand that, too.

The reason this trick is guaranteed to work because it’s based on understanding that the root of all sibling rivalry is a battle for your attention. Even if you do nothing other than understand that, and accept that all kids need attention (probably more than you have to give), you’re 80% of the way there.

Stephanie Gallagher is the author of several parenting books and creator of “Mommy Merry Go Round,” the hilarious new online movie that’s taking the motherhood community by storm! See it today at mommymerrygoround.com

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